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Cinematic Summer

by Bill Wine
Cherry Hill native and KYW film critic Bill Wine downplays the hype and tells us what films are sure to sizzle at the box office this season.

Like most big-screen summer lineups, this one is front-loaded, bursting with popcorn movies and potential blockbusters. That is, the earlier in the leisure-time season a movie opens, the more time it has to collect those warm-weather dollars.

But the summer of 2012 has had Hollywood prognosticators salivating for several years, some predicting it will set collective box office records. Well, we’ll see about that.

Meanwhile, let’s take a look at a dozen of this summer’s highest-profile titles, bookended by comic book-inspired projects; including a prequel, a sequel, a reboot, and several adaptations; in approximate order of release; and mostly available in currently fashionable 3-D.

Here for each title is the reason why we tingle with anticipation and hope, but also the reason why a bit of dread creeps in at the back of our moviegoing minds at the mere mention of it.

The Avengers (Opening May 4)
[+] REASON YOU’LL SEE IT
Kicking off the summer of 2012 is the highly-anticipated first gathering of the whole posse of Marvel Comics superheroes—including, among others, Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Thor (Chris Hensworth), Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), Captain America (Chris Evans), The Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), and Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson)—banding together as a dysfunctional but highly skilled family to battle their biggest foe. The writer-director of this sixth installment in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is Joss Whedon, who has quite a track record in television.

[-] REASON YOU WON’T
Sure, fanboys have been drooling in anticipation ever since Iron Man emerged in 2008. But the rest of us? Enough already with the comic book superheroes. And since when does bigger mean better? This just sounds like a crowded traffic intersection with flying instead of driving. As for the director, despite his accomplishments in television, he’s really only brought Serenity to big-screen fruition. Sorry, we’re just not marveling at the prospect.

Dark Shadows (Opening May 11)
[+] REASON YOU’LL SEE IT
The classic cult TV series, a gothic soap opera created by Dan Curtis that aired on ABC from 1966 to 1971, finally arrives on the big screen as a supernatural drama with Johnny Depp playing vampire patriarch Barnabas Collins, who returns after two centuries to find his manor in ruin. With vampires still in vogue; stylist auteur Tim Burton collaborating with Depp for a fifth straight time; horror, suspense and comedy on the menu; monsters, witches, zombies, werewolves and ghosts among the characters; and a supporting cast that includes Helena Bonham Carter, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jackie Earle Haley and Eva Green, what’s not to like?

[-] REASON YOU WON’T
Burton is often Mr. Style-Over-Substance, ignoring story and putting all his creative energy into production design—witness Batman, Edward Scissorhands, Mars Attacks!, Planet of the Apes, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Alice in Wonderland. And hasn’t the supernatural character trend played out by now anyway? Besides, who actually remembers the source series?

Battleship (Opening May 18)
[+] REASON YOU’LL SEE IT
Director Peter Berg, who brought us the movie version of Friday Night Lights, and star Taylor Kitsch, who starred in the subsequent television series as well as the recent John Carter, collaborate on this science fiction action-adventure thriller based on the Hasbro naval combat game. Kitsch stars as a Naval officer whose international fleet, based in the Hawaiian islands, comes in contact with aliens known as the Regents, who arrive on Earth to build a power source in the ocean. The cast also includes Liam Neeson, Alexander Skarsgard, Brooklyn Decker and Rihanna, and the film is structured to show both sides of the story—the humans’ perspective as well as that of the aliens.

[-] REASON YOU WON’T
This movie is based on a board game, OK? Does anything else need to be said? Battleship, no less. Have the Transformers and Pirates of the Caribbean flicks taught us nothing about movies based on toys, games and theme park rides, and the difference between a money machine and a good movie? Director Berg also brought us the problematic Hancock. As for Kitsch, the supposedly can’t-miss movie star, well, he sure missed with the science fiction bomb, John Carter, didn’t he?

Snow White and the Huntsman (Opening June 1)
[+] REASON YOU’LL SEE IT
Kristen Stewart stars as the Brothers Grimm’s Snow White opposite Charlize Theron as the Evil Queen and Chris Hemsworth as The Huntsman in a reimagined adventure drama in a kingdom ruled by tyranny in which Snow White escapes her wicked stepmother with the help of the huntsman who was supposed to take her into the woods and kill her but instead becomes her mentor and trains her to fight back. The Queen learns from her Magic Mirror that the only way she can retain her power is to consume Snow White’s heart. But Snow White, with the help of a group of dwarves with British accents and a prince, plots a rebellion.

[-] REASON YOU WON’T
Another Snow White movie—with a heavier spin on the classic take—so soon? And the first installment in a planned trilogy, no less? Y’mean Mirror Mirror, which is still on the wall, wasn’t enough? And just because Kristen Stewart has gained a following because of the Twilight series doesn’t mean she can act. But perhaps most worrisome of all, the British director of this big-budget project is a first-timer whose background is in commercials.

Brave (Opening June 22)
[+] REASON YOU’LL SEE IT
Pixar, the only movie studio in the history of the universe that’s never released a bad movie, presents a female-driven fairy tale about a Scottish princess that’s Pixar’s first fairy tale and first female protagonist. This animated adventure is about a skilled archer, Princess Merida, an impetuous royal daughter who wants to define her own life, so she defies an age-old custom and unleashes chaos in the kingdom. An eccentric old witch grants her an ill-fated wish and she discovers the true meaning of bravery when she tries to undo a beastly curse.

[-] REASON YOU WON’T
Lots of firsts here. Too many. In an age when grown-ups are compelled to attend animated flicks voiced by actors and actresses they recognize, this voice cast remains on the relatively anonymous side (Kelly MacDonald, Julie Walters, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson, Craig Ferguson) for casual moviegoers. Last year was a down year for animation, and Pixar’s Cars 2 left a bad taste in quite a few mouths. This could help to make it two bad years in a row.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting (Opening May 18; pictured)
[+] REASON YOU’LL SEE IT
The summer’s best movie title is inherited from the famed and influential pregnancy guidebook—sometimes described as the “bible of American pregnancy”—now in its fourth edition, written by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel, that has long lived atop the best-seller list in the paperback advice category. Ensemble cast members Cameron Diaz, Isla Fisher, Jennifer Lopez, Elizabeth Banks, Anna Kendrick, Matthew Morrison, Dennis Quaid, Chris Rock, Brooklyn Decker, Genesis Rodriguez and Megan Mullally populate this romantic comedy-drama about four interconnected couples who go through the joys and terrors of the wondrous childbirth process.

[-] REASON YOU WON’T
Kirk Jones’ last directorial outing, Everybody’s Fine, wasn’t so fine. Besides, these recent ensemble comedies, like Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve, have so many characters that they remain shallow and uninvolving. All they are is crowded, not impactful. And that formula seems to be the one being applied to this one, which is why it does not seem pregnant with possibilities.

Men in Black III (Opening May 25)
[+] REASON YOU’LL SEE IT
Because of the comic book series-inspired Men in Black, that’s why. And, to a lesser extent, Men in Black II. Blockbusters both. And because of the return of Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones as Agents J and K, once again protecting us from evil and kicking some more alien butt in a third science fiction fantasy-comedy. This time there’s time traveling back to 1969 involved, as J finds out that K no longer exists and wants to change his fate by preventing an alien from assassinating him. In the process, he must team up with a younger K, played by Josh Brolin, and they must stop a villain from destroying the world in the future. Director Barry Sonnenfeld returns, as does executive producer Steven Spielberg.

[-] REASON YOU WON’T
It’s been a long stretch between drinks for Sonnenfeld, who’s made only the stinkeroo, RV, since Men in Black II in 2006. And it’s been 15 years since the original Men in Black. In that time, we’ve had a lot of projects, a lot of aliens, and a lot of special digital effects that make what at the time seemed a cutting-edge comedy now seem positively old-fashioned. It may end up in the black—hey, it involves internationally bankable Will Smith—but this concept’s been around long enough to be, well, alienating.

Prometheus (Opening June 8)
[+] REASON YOU’LL SEE IT
Hey, it’s Ridley Scott back in the director’s chair. The filmmaker who brought us Blade Runner, Alien, Gladiator and Thelma & Louise is at the helm of this science fiction horror thriller about a team of explorers who travel to the darkest corner of the universe in the titular spaceship to discover a clue to the origins of mankind on earth and fight a battle for the survival of the human race. His cast includes Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, and Noomi Rapace. The film was originally conceived as a prequel to Scott’s 1979 sci-fi/horror classic, Alien, but it’s now described as a separate story that precedes the events of the Alien franchise without being directly related to it.

[-] REASON YOU WON’T
Just because Scott and his staff have denied that this is a prequel to Alien, as rumored, doesn’t mean that it’s not true. Not, as they say, that there’s anything wrong with that. But veteran Scott has not dipped in the science fiction pool for three decades. And the premise sounds self-important, perhaps arthouse pretentious, suggesting something along the lines of Stanley Kubrick’s iconic but inscrutable 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Rock of Ages (Opening June 15)
[+] REASON YOU’LL SEE IT
Adapted from the book and Off Broadway play by Chris D’Arienzo, this jukebox musical chronicles a rock ‘n’ roll romance between a small-town waitress and a big-city busboy who meet on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles in 1987 while chasing their dreams. It tells its story through signature 1980s anthems by the likes of Def Leppard, Journey, Joan Jett, Foreigner, Bon Jovi, Pat Benatar, Twisted Sister, Poison, and Whitesnake, among others. And while no one was looking, Tom Cruise got himself back in moviegoers’ good graces in the excellent Mission: Impossible—Ghost Protocol. The cast also features Paul Giamatti, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Russell Brand, Alec Baldwin, Mary J. Blige and Bryan Cranston.

[-] REASON YOU WON’T
A rock musical? You’re kidding. And where does Tom Cruise get off thinking that he’s a draw in offbeat projects? Most stage musicals that come to the big screen have a high enough profile to at least suggest a built-in audience. Not so this mission, should you decide to accept it, which just might be impossible.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (Opening June 22)
[+] REASON YOU’LL SEE IT
Statesman by day, vampire slayer by night. Maybe you weren’t really paying attention in school: turns out the Great Emancipator wasn’t just our 16th president, but was also a highly-trained vampire assassin, secretly battling the undead in his spare time at a time when vampires were trying to take over the United States. And the real conflict behind the Civil War involved vampires. Who knew? Russian director Timur Bekmambetov, who was at the helm of the exciting Angelina Jolie action thriller, Wanted, takes the reins of this historical action-horror thriller based on the novel by Seth Grahame-Smith, who also wrote the screenplay.

[-] REASON YOU WON’T
This supernatural trend is now officially out of hand. I mean, can we even look at that title without giggling? And, wait, a Russian director of an Abraham Lincoln flick? What’s up with that? The star is Benjamin Walker. Who? And the screenplay has been written by Grahame-Smith. Perhaps most troublesome, this is no Zombieland-like comedy, but a straight-faced horror thriller Honest, Abe.

The Amazing Spider-Man (Opening July 3)
[+] REASON YOU’LL SEE IT
Andrew Garfield, who shone in The Social Network, takes on the title role as teenager Peter Parker, a high school outcast who lives with his aunt and uncle because he was abandoned by his parents when he was young, an occurrence he continues to try to understand. His crush at school is Gwen Stacy, played by Emma Stone. The discovery of a secret of his father’s will shape his destiny and he will be, as if you didn’t know, bitten by a radioactive spider and suddenly in possession of astonishing powers. The Spider-Man franchise hereby relaunches, hoping to catch us in its web. And as we surely know from director Sam Raimi’s first three entries: With great power comes great … box office.

[-] REASON YOU WON’T
Why reboot the trilogy, especially when it was done so impressively by Raimi only a few years ago—between 2002 and 2007? The director of this fourth outing, Mark Webb, brought us (500) Days of Summer in 2009. It was charming and amusing, sure, but what suggests that he’s right for this kind of superhero thriller? And what can state-of-the-art digital special effects do to thrill us that can top our first upward glimpses of Spidey taking to the rooftops?

The Dark Knight Rises (Opening July 20)
[+] REASON YOU’LL SEE IT
Two words: Christopher Nolan. Yes, the director of the dazzling Inception, the reviving-the-franchise Batman Returns, and the rooked-out-of-the-Oscar-fray The Dark Knight returns to Gotham City, where Batman has taken the fall for Harvey Dent’s crimes, eight years later for another thriller. Intended as the conclusion of the trilogy, it’s certainly the summer’s most widely and highly anticipated film, featuring a battle between the cowl-covered Caped Crusader and two formidable villains. Christian Bale returns as Bruce Wayne/Batman, Michael Caine as butler Alfred, and Gary Oldman as Police Commissioner Gordon, while Tom Hardy as terrorist leader Bane, Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle/Catwoman, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as John Blake also join the cast. For everyone who felt that The Dark Knight, the magnificent Caped Crusader thriller from Nolan, was unfairly undervalued in 2008, here’s a chance for apology and redemption.

[-] REASON YOU WON’T
Three words: The Legend Ends. That’s what the poster says. Ah, let’s be honest here: Given what Nolan did with his invigorating last trip to Gotham City, let alone what he’s done since, what the heck’s not to look forward to?

Published (and copyrighted) in South Jersey Magazine, Volume 9, Issue 2 (May, 2012).
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